Cassie Cartwright's Story
by sweetcolumbine
Summary: Cassie tries to understand Ennis.


**Cassie Cartwright's Story:**

Rated T

Inspired by Annie Proulx's story and characters, and the film of BBM.

Cassie had lived in Signal all her life, her father once had a bar there, but now in ill health he had retired. As a child in the early 1960s she'd watched behind the scenes and hung around outside her daddy's place. She swears she remembers Ennis from that time. He was with another cowboy tall like him but dark, and even at eight years old she was fascinated by the fine looking boys in a place where good looks were a rarity at that time.

In her early twenties now she worked in her daddy's old bar - it had changed hands and was called 'The Wolf's Ears Bar'. She was a kind of rebel, she thought her parents strict and had left home as early as possible, had her own room – her father ill as he was could barely make protest, but she remembered the old times and the blows. Her job at the bar was only until she could earn her place in nursing school.

One day, who should walk in but the tall blond boy, now a fine looking man, she was sure it was him. For ages she watched him drinking and smoking and at last, captivated as she was with him, she decided to put some music on the old duke box and get him to dance. Before she could approach him he was up and on his way out but, a chancer as she was, she grabbed his hand, introduced herself, and asked his name – 'Ennis……Del Mar' he said in a beautiful warm voice, and let himself be led.

Cassie was a pretty girl – she was dressed in shorts and a small top and tried to be a good dancer, never quite succeeding, tried to keep time to the music. Ennis did a sort of loping shuffle much to the amusement of Cassie's young friends nearby – but she loosened him up. Cassie didn't know it but her character was very like that of the dark haired cowboy she'd seen with Ennis when she was a child – subconsciously Ennis knew she was like Jack and felt comfortable with her, and was attracted to the fresh prettiness of her. She was, however, a different generation to Ennis, more open and wanting to understand – she knew instinctively he was troubled – hell, so was she.

After a few weeks of being friends she took him back to the room she rented. She wasn't very experienced but they made love in the fullest sense of the word. She fell hard in love, worshipped him body and soul, beautiful body, beautiful man.

This love making was repeated on several occasions, but it came to Cassie that to Ennis it was a necessary function at which he was adept but he never gave his essence: never gave himself to Cassie. Something was wrong. In her experience if something didn't add up you didn't know the whole story: Ennis was keeping something back from her in more than one sense, in short, Ennis Del Mar had a secret – there was a mystery, a missing bit of information. It troubled her.

Once she met his eldest daughter Alma Junior, asked her outright if she thought her daddy would marry again – his daughter thought maybe he wasn't the marrying kind – which got Cassie thinking.

Then Ennis just dropped out if sight – she left notes for him at his home and at the Stoutamire ranch where he worked to please contact her. Nothing. Then some months later with a male friend she came across him in a diner, alone, pushing a piece of apple pie around a plate and deep in thought.

She asked him where he'd been, told him about the notes. He was off-hand with her, barely looked up. In frustration Cassie said,' I don't get you Ennis Del Mar!' 'I was probably no fun anyways', said Ennis, looking at her lively male companion. Cassie, at a complete loss now said, 'Girls don't fall in live with fun!' Then very upset she rushed out, closely followed by her concerned friend.

'Well I do', thought Ennis - into his mind came Jack, up on Brokeback, acting out his bull ridin' and singing in that God awful voice he had. Ennis had fallen in love with fun. Ennis was composing in his mind a postcard to Jack asking for the November meeting – maybe it was long past time but maybe there could be a way for them to be together, always.

Outside now it came to Cassie in a flash what she'd forgotten all these years: as a child she'd spied on Ennis and his dark haired companion in her daddy's bar, then later playing outside she'd seen them leave – loving looks between a pair of sky blue eyes and warm hazel eyes as though the rest of the world did not exist at that moment – she thought, at long last, she'd solved the mystery..


End file.
